We’re bracing for a major snowstorm. Most of Southern Canada will get walloped with up to 40 cm of snow. The snow is expected to start tonight and continue into early Thursday morning. I’ve been watching for weather alerts, watching the news (in between all the Trump trade war news – I can’t even go there, it pains me so much what he is doing. An attack on your best trading partner, a partnership founded on so much history, friendship and solidarity. Not to mention how it will severely impact Americans as well as Canadians…)
Sorry, back to the weather.
All non-essential travel is discouraged. Pearson Airport has already canceled some flights. Some universities are even contemplating closing, hardy universities that seldom close. I remember making my kids go to school when they canceled school buses – schools were kept open. They weren’t eligible to take buses when they were older as school was a walkable distance. So I told my son he could walk to high school. Imagine that. He whined and pleaded, but I still made him go. He got to class and Facetimed me.
No one, not even the teacher, made it to class. Yes, I’m a hardcore Tiger Mom. But I did let him come home.
I mean, when I was in school we never had snow days. Although I’m ancient – like “Little House on the Prairie” era ancient – anyone else wear Holly Hobbie shirts back in the day? Well, I jest. but I did find out that Little House IS getting a reboot by the way. Another post on that later.
Thank goodness my husband finally bought a snowblower last year. For the first time in the 24 years we’ve lived in this house. He’s used it a total of two times. Once last year. And the second time a few weeks ago. Then it broke down.
Great timing. Good thing it’s covered under warranty. It’s a bit too big to fit in my car to be taken for repair. (He thinks – hasn’t tried yet). So it will sit so usefully in our garage as we get that 40 cm accumulation later tonight.
Let’s get out those shovels.
Sigh.
So in honour of the snow, I put on what I call my snowflake sweater:
And yes, that is a new zit that I am sporting on my chin. What is UP with menopause acne.
I belong to a Facebook group for parents of students at my daughter’s university. Although we had already gone through this post-high school stage with our son, we hadn’t been as involved. Being the firstborn and having so many different social groups, his transition was pretty seamless. Sure, he needed our support first year (and during later years, unscrupulous landlord, advice, all that…). But it was helpful that a bunch of his friends attended the same university. Even the same program, and we were very good friends with the parents.
Both hubs and I had instilled the idea of going away to university in both the kids. I had stayed home. I saved some money, but I didn’t feel a part of the university as a commuter kid. I often feel that I had missed out. I remember it being a very stressful time even though I was living at home. My parents stressed me out, but that’s a story for another day.
After doing her online research and going on a campus tour, she made her choice. She knew no one in her program. She didn’t know anyone going to the same school before or with her. She has always been independent that way. Didn’t matter where her friends were going – she wasn’t even sure where they were when we asked! So peer pressure not so much of a thing. She made this decision. This was after spending a couple of years in virtual high school from her bedroom during COVID. There’s a whole cohort of kids affected by these unusual pandemic circumstances.
We leaned in to be on alert and mindful of her mental health (and that of both our kids). University life is stressful. And coming at a time with changing bodies, increased societal expectations and the weight of impending adulthood. It is a lot.
Many other parents are together with us in this group, trying to navigate this world together from afar. We received a lot of great advice and support beyond the first year. I still get notifications from the group and offer advice when I can. We are thankful that she has settled in well. She has made some very good friends and she loves her roommates. She is naturally introverted and a homebody, but learning to advocate for herself and enjoying her studies.
This past weekend some parents posted about students in a certain residence receiving emails about happenings. About seeing medical personnel in the vicinity. Very concerning emails.
I woke up this morning to a post linked to a notice on the university website. A heartbreaking update, about the passing of a student in that residence. The university is mourning and has made counseling services available for students. She was likely in first year, as residence is typically only available for those first years away from home. I was brought to tears when I read about it. It’s a parent’s worst nightmare, I can’t imagine how awful this is for her parents, family, and friends. And how awful it must have been for her.
I texted my daughter about it this morning. I’d just brought her to the bus yesterday for her trip back to school. She’d been talking about the news with her roommates – news must have spread very quickly on campus. I needed to check in on her. I wanted to make sure she knows that she is loved. We are here for her about anything and everything. Being here for her . And I can’t wait to give her a huge hug and kiss again.
Dawn is a 58-year-old divorced mother of two adult sons, living in London, trying to settle into a nice middle aged life. She is a native of Trinidad with roots and family still back home. Both of her kids have grown and flown with their careers. She has a decent relationship with her ex-husband. Dawn has a job that she doesn’t love, but it pays the bills. One would imagine she is indeed well set for a good future on her own.
However, Dawn has a secret. She’d made a pact with her parents to not speak about an event that happened 42 years ago. A traumatic time for Dawn and her family, particularly given the close-knit and small island community.
At the age of 16, Dawn had given birth to a baby girl. And given it up for adoption. Dawn had been the baby of the family, a studious young girl, from a well to do, respected family. An uncharacteristically careless decision made during island carnival set her on this unexpected path. Over 40 years later, she has an emptiness in her, a longing to find her long lost daughter. She has been trying to track down the baby that she gave away so many years ago. She is haunted by the memories of that time, and this need to connect with her long-lost daughter.
I loved this story. Dawn is a super-relatable character. The descriptions of her daily life and her thoughts are detailed well. I empathized with how she deals with her co-workers, her kids, her family, and her reflections on life. I empathized with her on so many levels. Perhaps it’s because I am a middle aged woman. I find myself at a similar time of life, looking at the future ahead and considering all those life aspects. I appreciated the first-person perspective, written like a memoir. There was so much groundedness in the description of her daily life. When she described the interactions with her family and complex relationships with siblings and her parents – I understood. The island life also sounded so vivid, and the author writes of it, and about the characters, with affection.
When she describes the events from her time at 16 years of age, the novel reaches a heartbreaking level. Her later search for her daughter, who would now be in her early 40s, further elevates the story. The last passages were especially poignant and brought me to tears.
I love Claire Adam’s style of writing and have already set my sights on reading her first novel Golden Child (which apparently, I put on my to-read list about 6 years ago and totally forgot about.)
Thank you to Random House and the author for an advanced reader copy for an honest review.
This past week went by very quickly -and yet I feel like I’m stuck and not moving. Which is practically the case. Because of the reno’s, Hubs and I are limited to three rooms in our house- bedroom, kitchen and bath. We are mostly empty nesters. We have become accustomed to each having our own side of the house. It has been helpful to have our own space, healthy even. I think so anyway.
We have been in close quarters for two weeks now. We are isolating with our 16 year old blind, deaf, and stinky but precious little Cody. Cody typically has the run of the whole first floor. All of his usual markers are gone. We have to keep very close tabs on him for his bathroom breaks. I won’t elaborate, but suffice it to say we cannot leave him alone with all the noise and disruption. He’s had more than his usual number of accidents.
Thank goodness we can tag team so we can get out for gym workouts. Sitting around eating cookies, chips is not so healthy nor helpful.
Monday
I took G shopping for groceries. We went to T & T, the Asian grocery store to get some favourites for the next couple of weeks. They don’t have a great selection of Asian stores at her school. The plan was to drive her back after my workout. She usually takes the bus. I offered to drive her back because it is faster. I enjoy spending more time with her.
Got my Bodypump workout in, but it got windy and snowy. She decided to go back to school the next day – so the three of us plus Cody watched TV in the bedroom. Cozy times.
Tuesday
Drove back to university town – a much better drive in the day. So many trucks on the highway, but at least it was light and not snowing. It’s very interesting to see how clean my daughter is compared to her roommates. They’re great girls, but my daughter announced that they should put up a cleaning calendar. The fridge was packed with expired goods that she went through, most of which were not hers. I couldn’t stand the unidentifiable orange crusty goop that seemed to be the source of the unidentifiable smell. It lined the bottom underneath the crisper drawers. I cleaned it up before heading home. I did this just like a mom would. I’m not a typical mom, so that’s saying a lot!
That evening I went to my regular book club with the neighbourhood ladies. I’d missed the last one before Christmas! It was hosted by my friend who has just moved out of our neighbourhood into her newly built house. What a showcase home, absolutely stunning.
We didn’t really discuss the book pick – “Thursday Murder Club”by Richard Osman. It was a fun read, lots of characters, reminiscent of the TV series “Only Murders in the Building”.
Wednesday
Chinese Lunar new year! I stayed home the whole day. The guys were doing the floors, so I couldn’t really do any writing. I couldn’t do any thinking either. I did, however, watch a couple Netflix movies:
The Storied life of AJ Firky . Quite well done, I enjoyed the cast in it, quirky but effective casting and acting was subtle. And a story with a twist. I was pleasantly surprised by David Arquette’s performance as a sweet character in this. Based on a book by Gabrielle Zevin who also authored of Tomorrow, Tomorrow and Tomorrow, which I loved. I may have to read the book.
Babes – what a laugh riot! It covered a lot of topics around motherhood, parenting, girlfriends, family. A lot of things they don’t tell you when you’re expecting, and what really happens after you have the baby. There were some gross out and laugh out loud moments for me. I love movies where the comedy goes so quickly it hits you seconds after you digest it. Dialogue and chemistry was amazing – you could tell the main actors are comedians.
And Stephan James, Toronto actor, was on there much too briefly.
Thursday
Had a coaching session on zoom. Always nice to meet new people.
I then took Mom to Walmart. She wanted to use her new Walmart Mastercard. I tried to talk her out of getting a new credit card it, but she wanted that $15 cashback. They have a new hot Chinese food counter there. She treated me to takeout lunch and dinner. There was so much food for the both of us and then for me and Hubs for dinner. You can’t beat Walmart for affordability, I have to say.
I am glad to have the time to spend with Mom. She will turn 88 this year. She is still going strong. She still has it in her to get annoyed with my Dad and how he wasn’t the perfect husband. He’s been gone 16 years and she has a long and near perfect memory. I am trying to capture her stories for memoir purposes, but she ends up complaining most of the time. At least she’s still feisty about it all. And truth be told, my Dad did have shortcomings.
Thursday evening I got to the gym again – Bodyjam 110. Not too impressed with this release. I’ve done it three times, hopeful that it would grow on me. The choreography is quite boring. The arm movements are a little silly. It’s slow, so it’s not much of a workout. But it was fun to dance with the class, more of a social thing. I may skip and do Combat on Saturday instead.
Friday
Just came back from an impromptu dinner out at Turtle Jacks before a concert. Last day of January – which was not quite dry for me, more of a Damp January. I snuck in a glass of wine on Tuesday night, and a nice cold Coors Light on tap tonight.
And the concert – 54-40, an Alt Canadian band from Vancouver. They can still rock after being together since 1981 – wow!
I have homework this weekend – need to write a scene. That’s on my agenda.
It’s the Lunar New Year. The Chinese zodiac sign is the Snake. My year.
The zodiac goes in cycles of 12 years, one animal for every year. We left the year of the Dragon. This year will also be an auspicious milestone year for me.
The following horoscope describes how the year of the Snake will look – for a Snake:
“The Snake year is an excellent time for spiritual and personal growth since it encourages self-discovery. The 2025 element, wood, lends the Snake’s traits greater versatility, growth, and creativity.”
A lot of changes are coming, and they should expect to make many significant decisions regarding love, work, health and family.”
Advice is to attend joyous events, like weddings or baby showers.
A year of self-discovery, sounds about right.
We had our Chinese New Year dinner last Saturday, my Mom, the siblings and our families. G came home from school because we were having her favourite – Peking Duck – we had two of them! The kids’ favourites. Life will be changing as some of the younger cousins will start post secondary later this year.
Especially missing our boy this time, but he will have red envelopes coming his way soon enough.
Write about your first name: its meaning, significance, etymology, etc.
Karen. I was named when it was one of the most popular names for girls. In every classroom there were at least two of us. Always spelled the OG way, with a “K” and an “E”.
When I was in primary school, I had a bookmark which showcased my name and its origin. It was white, with a pink tassel, and embroidered with the following:
Pure. Karen is a female name of Danish or Greek origin. A form of Katherine.
When you google it now, the internet says: the original meaning of Karen means “pure,” which points to the wonderful innocence of childhood and the loving, pure nature baby embodies.
Unfortunately, since 2016, Karen has come to embody a racist, middle-aged white woman with an obnoxious haircut, who wants to speak to the manager. The Karen meme was a little funny, until it wasn’t. It’s ridiculous that it’s become a verb. Being a Karen is frowned upon.
Oh well, I suppose there are worse things in life.
Nevertheless, I am an annoyed Karen over the whole thing.
That’s my goal. I know, I know. I’m like 40 years older than the average person in this video and I have bad knees. I just wrote a scene about my love of dance from a young age. I figure I’m not quite ready to be called “elderly” just yet.
The song is everywhere, and the official video is adorable too. Bruno Mars and K-Pop princess Rose – cuteness overload. Anyone else hear a bit of “Mickey” by Toni Basil in this?
I used to think that the Fireplace channel (and also the Aquarium channel, for that matter) were just the strangest offerings on TV.
We found occasion to watch my TV fireplace this past week.
You know when you’ve got stuff to do, are both on your laptops, would like something in the background on the bigger screen in front of you, but don’t want it to need too much of your attention? The fireplace channel fit the bill perfectly. I suppose this is our generation’s version of multi-tasking. My husband loved it.
The crackling, the faux flames – it brought the ambiance and made the room feel rather cozy. In this room, where a brand new electric fireplace will be installed in the next few weeks. The irony of fire providing us comfort is not lost on me.
Here are five random thoughts for a Friday:
1/ Things are settling down for my son in LA. Fires are still raging, they are still on alert to a certain extent, but they are lucky as they have not lost anything, have not had to evacuate, and have a place to stay. They are now looking to see how they can help out in the community. I’m feeling a bit better now too.
2/ Upping my gym game
So far this year, I’ve done 9 gym classes in 16 days. In 2024, I went to 173 group classes.
For some of those classes I had the benefit of jumping up on stage with the instructor to team teach Jam (honestly it’s because Les Mills instructors learn things backwards, like facing a mirror – so it’s easier for me to do it that way…). And when I get on stage, it becomes a real party – disco lights please!
I think this is the first year that my passion for Bodycombat surpassed Bodyjam. Fighting over dancing, at least at the gym. With a healthy dose of repetition with weights/cardio in Bodypump.
I’ve been sleeping a little better which is a good thing.
One important thing is to remember – listen to my body. At my gym I have to book a space in class within a 72 hour window. Some of the classes get full quickly – so I often book once that minute strikes. But if I work out in the evening, should I still attend the class I booked for the next morning? For me today, that was a no. Two days in a row, already at my age, – I decided that a third day was pushing it and it’s not worth the risk of injury.
Does it mean I should have an extra bowl of popcorn? No – but I did have one anyway. Skinny Pop, though.
3/ Writing
There’s more discipline set up by my writers’ group now. Deadlines, goals. Accountability. I have to finish up a new scene before the 19th, midnight. Wish me luck.
4/ Renovations
It feels like the calm before the storm. Calm, as the house is really, really quiet. Both kids away, our 16 year old Cody who sleeps most of the day, the only other thing providing a distraction. Empty nesting is an adjustment.
We still have to move a bunch of stuff this weekend. My husband likes bossing me around (he did a stint as a furniture mover when he was young) so I let him have that as a win!
5/ Renovations of this blog
I bit the bullet and decided to invest a bit in this blog. It needs a new look and I’d like some more inspiration for writing. I am excited to take this to the next level and find a blogging community again.
First full week of the new year. A lot going on but with some flexibility in schedule, it feels like things are going lightning quick but alternately at a snail’s pace.
The week started out on a high, looking forward at 2025 as a year of possibility. Both kids well on their way.
For myself – this is my year, the year of the Wooden Snake! A perfect square year!
– getting back on track to regularly scheduled gym workouts;
-clearing each room step by step in preparation for the upcoming reno (so many steps just moving boxes around and up and down stairs). Hard to stay focused as I’ve been easily distracted by memories that random items bring to mind. Keep, don’t keep? Donated a bunch to Salvation Army and still have more to go;
– to start looking at my own life plans, career, writing ? My reader/writer group started and I am already behind.
Then Tuesday we get a text from my son:
He is stressed, but safe. They are very fortunate. The biggest inconvenience for them so far was loss in power, and they packed bags that they had just unpacked, just in case. They are not in the alert zone, but can’t rest or settle into any new normal. They’re still getting random alerts. So I’ve been on pins and needles the whole week. All is in Mother Nature’s hands, fate is with the winds. I feel helpless observing all of this so far away from him. Watching all this devastation unfold while waiting for his next text or Facetime call.
Yup, his new life is in LA. I’ve been purposely not texting him every hour for an update. He tells me I can text him whenever, he never minds getting a note from me. Makes me want to hug him even harder.
At a time 
Major Snowstorm on its way – O Canada
We’re bracing for a major snowstorm. Most of Southern Canada will get walloped with up to 40 cm of snow. The snow is expected to start tonight and continue into early Thursday morning. I’ve been watching for weather alerts, watching the news (in between all the Trump trade war news – I can’t even go there, it pains me so much what he is doing. An attack on your best trading partner, a partnership founded on so much history, friendship and solidarity. Not to mention how it will severely impact Americans as well as Canadians…)
Sorry, back to the weather.
All non-essential travel is discouraged. Pearson Airport has already canceled some flights. Some universities are even contemplating closing, hardy universities that seldom close. I remember making my kids go to school when they canceled school buses – schools were kept open. They weren’t eligible to take buses when they were older as school was a walkable distance. So I told my son he could walk to high school. Imagine that. He whined and pleaded, but I still made him go. He got to class and Facetimed me.
No one, not even the teacher, made it to class. Yes, I’m a hardcore Tiger Mom. But I did let him come home.
I mean, when I was in school we never had snow days. Although I’m ancient – like “Little House on the Prairie” era ancient – anyone else wear Holly Hobbie shirts back in the day? Well, I jest. but I did find out that Little House IS getting a reboot by the way. Another post on that later.
Thank goodness my husband finally bought a snowblower last year. For the first time in the 24 years we’ve lived in this house. He’s used it a total of two times. Once last year. And the second time a few weeks ago. Then it broke down.
Great timing. Good thing it’s covered under warranty. It’s a bit too big to fit in my car to be taken for repair. (He thinks – hasn’t tried yet). So it will sit so usefully in our garage as we get that 40 cm accumulation later tonight.
Let’s get out those shovels.
Sigh.
So in honour of the snow, I put on what I call my snowflake sweater:
And yes, that is a new zit that I am sporting on my chin. What is UP with menopause acne.