One of the bloggers I recently discovered is megakaos. They shared a blogging event that they are participating in, entitled the A to Z Blogging Challenge. This is a blog hop! I loved finding new blogs when I first started blogging in 2004. -and apparently this event has been happening since 2010! How did I miss this? Time to catch up.
Today’s letter is A, and my word for this post is AGE. I turn 60 later this year. I know it’s April 1, but this is not an April fool’s joke.
I attended a (fantastic, by the way) 60th birthday party on the weekend. It took place at Zitta Zitta Italian restaurant, all the way downtown in Little Italy – we took an Uber. It took us over an hour. Nevertheless, we were lucky as the ice storm of the century was happening just north of us.
My girlfriend is in my book club and she’s the first of us to hit this milestone this year. We’ve been getting together to read, eat, drink wine and laugh for over 15 years. It turns out there’ are enough of us sharing this birth year that we are the median age!
The party was a nice gathering, a few of the book club ladies and our husbands were there. Several young people were also in attendance – she has three kids in their 20s, like mine. One of her nieces remarked that none of us looked anywhere near 60. I could have hugged her (in fact, I think I did).
I think about what middle age and 60 looked like when I was a young woman. I think “Golden Girls” the TV show -I can’t believe at the time, the actresses were still in their 50s.
My friend threw the celebration because she felt ” it is time” . She’s still young enough to look good. She also feels good. She wants to acknowledge her friends, loved ones, and her fortunate life. I know that she arranged it herself. She doesn’t think she would throw this party when she’s 70. So pragmatic.
I’m on the fence about whether I will have a party. It’s a lot of work. Maybe I’ll do a trip instead. My husband has said he will celebrate however I’d like to celebrate. Decisions, decisions!
Last month my daughter and I visited my son in his new home in Los Angeles. We stayed for 8 days, and saw firsthand how he is settling into his new life, with his life partner. There are enough stresses when a young couple lives together for the first time. Add on the fact that they are in a new city – that experiences one of the worst fires ever in the new country. Then imagine having your mother come for a visit!
I had intended to cook for them while there, but I did none of that. I didn’t have to lift a finger. I only needed to open a wine bottle and pour myself (and my son) a glass. Each day, we were given options for what part of LA or the surrounding area we might explore.
They gave up their bedroom for us. They even got sun blocking shades for the huge window because the sun rises pretty early there. They didn’t get a chance to put them up before we got there … so installed them one evening while we were witness. It was pretty funny, they literally held each other up during the exercise. And then dressed matchy matchy the next morning (not planned, they changed when they realized. A big mirror for the apartment is next on their to-buy list!). They are adjusting well, working through things together, and their love and affection for each other is palpable.
It was nice. I think my daughter and I brought the comfort of home just by being there.
They are a great team. I am so thrilled for them. I’m a proud Mama. When I tell friends my firstborn has flown the nest, they tell me “I’ve done good”. I just didn’t think it would happen this fast.
It seems like just yesterday, and not like a lifetime ago that Ian and I were starting out ourselves. Setting up our own own home. Nesting. We reveled in the fact that we had something for just the two of us.
Our first house was in the west end, Bloor West Village in Toronto. Lots of families, kids, tree-lined streets, craftsman houses, neighbourhood shops and cafes. And us.
We’ve always had music in the background of every home. I still have many CDs from that time, albums that I would play on repeat. The other day I heard “Jane” by the Barenaked Ladies on the radio. It brought me right back to the year we bought our house. The song was inspired by the intersection of Jane and St. Clair, not far from where we lived. Fun fact, it was written by Steven Page of the BNL and Stephen Duffy. Yes that Stephen Duffy
Here’s Jane – Barenaked Ladies, fantastic Canadian band.
I was so looking forward to reading this book! I love NYC, and Central Park, and the summary of what was to come hooked me right in. I thought it would be a celebration of love, marriage, and family. It would also include sacrifices. It may have been, if I could have read past the 4th chapter.
It’s a style thing. Could it have worked for me if there were about a thousand more synonyms for the word “remember”? I remember. You remember. After the 3rd chapter, I decided to flip forward to see if this would continue throughout the remainder of the book. Unfortunately, it did.
I’m sorry to mark this as DNF. Being a wannabe writer I know how difficult writing can be. I took a break from writing a scene today, to hopefully get some inspiration and motivation from reading.
I’m trying to be more forward-thinking. The pace of change reflected in the daily news these days, provides a lack of predictability on several levels. It’s like whiplash. I’m typically a planner. I am in a good position to have options and have the benefit of going with the flow. There was no better evidence of needing to do that, than the pandemic experience.
Daria posted about her experiences with some thoughtful questions. I am taking inspiration from her. Here we go:
What do you remember most? I remember the anti-Asian sentiment and feeling targetted for being Chinese. I remember being obsessed about toilet paper, hand sanitizer, Lysol spray, gloves, and masks
I became crafty (hats anyone?) Who knew?
I went on to make enough to cover the heads of my immediate family. My mother got 2. My aunt also got 2. I made them for my siblings and all of their spouses and kids. Yes, I am a bit obsessive.
How did we get here? I was getting ready for a work trip on January 19, my second visit since October. I had heard rumblings of this wave of sickness making its way across the globe. And thinking it would be good if I could get a mask, maybe at the airport. While at the airport I couldn’t find any, but I didn’t worry much.
As I sat in my seat waiting for take-off, I got a text from my son:
“Mom, did I hear right from Dad? Are you flying to Seattle?
“Yup, just finished boarding”
“You do realize, they just identified the first case of this virus in the US. In Washington. What the … ?!”
It’s true. It had been confirmed in Everett—about a 20-minute drive from my company’s head office. I was flying into the unknown. That was January. It was only going to get worse.
We were monitoring the situation closely. My daughter was scheduled to go on her first trip abroad with school. She was going to Portugal and Spain for March break, how exciting at 15. I had gone out and bought a box of KN95 masks for her to take with her. We had already got some Euros for her to bring for tipping. We were hoping for the best. We were proud of her for wanting to do something adventurous. The pandemic hit Spain and Portugal first and several students could not return home to their countries because of it. Our school trip was cancelled just days before they were scheduled to fly out, which was a blessing.
Who went through this with you? Despite the doom and gloom, we did a lot of cocooning and isolating as a family. It brought my son home from university for a few chunks at a time. I was working from home, a job that I had secured as 100% remote the fall before. My husband was keeping busy after just achieving lifetime permanent status with our national airline (irony – now that he couldn’t go anywhere). Thank goodness he was at home – he had done a work stint in China a year earlier.
My daughter took her high school classes online – from her bed. Thank goodness for the internet, I was able to keep up with my Mom, in her 80s and amazingly agile on her iPhone.
Where did you go through this event? At home and no where else. Except to the grocery store – when we were allowed with “social distancing” (a new term).
We had family and friends’ meetings on line though. Several family Zoom reunions, with some family we had never met in person. A couple of high school reunions. Some girlfriend Zoom social hangs.
We did rent a cottage for a week’s summer vacation – it was outrageously expensive at the time.
How did you feel then? I felt somewhat in a bubble. I immersed myself in work. I had the option to go to head office as much as I wanted before Covid. I did try to go a couple times during, but with testing requirements and timing, it didn’t work out. But I felt so productive. We worked so well together internally. We also collaborated effectively with our external colleagues to accomplish amazing things.
I worried for my daughter. A lot . Life can be tough enough when you’re 15 without a global pandemic. We had just found a solution to help her deal with anxiety about going to school . And then this.
What changed in your world? I lost my part tine gig teaching at the gym. The gym! It has been my mainstay over the last 20 years. I did get the Les Mills app, I did manage to workout at home. But group fitness was not sustainable during the pandemic. I missed my fellow dance instructors and most importantly the great people who came to my classes. We lost a lot of instructors and the class has not recovered unfortunately.
Our travel was cut down, and we have not travelled as a family unit since before the pandemic. But it is also life. Family vacations are harder to keep up when your kids have their own schedules and friends.
What changed in YOU? I became more outgoing, less filtered, more the “real me” with people. Perhaps it was working on Zoom and freeing my inhibitions. I lost some of my imposter syndrome. Isolated in my office tucked in the corner of my house, working solo in person but with hundreds of folks online– I hit major high points in my career. More open to change than I ever was before.
I became more family focussed, and nostalgic. I don’t think I was alone in that. I’m trying to do more with my siblings, and taking advantage of more time to spend with my mom on a regular basis. I hope I’m being nicer to my husband but you’d have to ask him if that’s working.
How do you feel about the pandemic NOW – it feels like it was a dream. Except for the fact that I still have several boxes full of masks (see above, ie. me being obsessive…) life has normalized. I feel it brought out the best but also the absolute worst. Memories can be so short. It was just five years ago that we were slammed with this global crisis. The virus spread like wildfire because we are so interconnected. It brought out some awful divisiveness. Good people around the world also worked together to get us back to new normalcy. I wish people would remember that.
I can’t believe we’re in March already. I’ve since been to LA and back. So much for daily blogging of my trip! Got some catching up to do. This was the post I wrote at the start of the trip. It’s the only post I wrote on the trip. The pace was unbelievable. We had stuff to do everyday. We hit at least 15000 steps a day.
We got off to an early start – the sun comes up early, LA is a morning person town. The sun goes down very quickly so it makes sense to get in as much sun and the day as possible.
First stop, Tartine for breakfast. I decided to let my son pay for breakfast and wow, whopping over $80. US dollars. Thank goodness he is getting paid in USD. Most delish potatoes, egg sandwiches!
Tartine breakfast
Then onto Santa Monica. First third street market – lovely display of fruits, flowers, and a person pushing a stroller with the fattest bunny I have ever seen. I wish I got a snap of that!
Third street market
Next up a walk to the Santa Monica Pier – touristy destination but a must do. Iconic, not too crowded. We took some necessary pictures on the pier, and looking at the ocean it was beautiful. But the backdrop of the pacific palisades, the burnt out hills, was sobering.
Walked along the beach where my son got some exercise on pull up bars and hanging ring action – one thing was confirmed, lots of athleisure and dogs in LA.
We then stopped for coffee at Dog Town Coffee in Ocean park for a leisurely stop, enjoying the sun with live music in the back patio. And some cute dogs. This was South Santa Monica.
After coffee, headed back toward the town via Santa Monica City Hall, closed down auditorium, passing by a closed vintage Sears, and the Chains monument, and anti-nuclear installation. It was a bit eerily quiet on that walk back, likely as it’s more of a government area on a weekend.
Chains
We then had a lovely lunch at Elephante – what a vibe for a restaurant on the beach.
Pasta yummmWhipped eggplant
After lunch we headed to Venice to check out the market and shopping area. Parking was almost impossible, had to give credit to my boy for his patience in finding a spot. Picked up a coffee at Blue Bottle, it was worth the line up. My daughter was in search of much needed sunglasses, she wanted to get a new pair here in LA. It was fun to check out the market but I felt like I was looking at my old wardrobe I had donated 15 – 20 years ago. Ed Hardy, Paul Frank, low rise denim, slip dresses.
From the market we walked along the street which had most of the usual brands that we have up in Canada. Reminded me of our Toronto Beach neighbourhood in its heyday, but on a bigger scale.
We then found our way over to the Canals neighborhood of Venice. I didn’t know of this area, some unique and pricey homes lining several canals. Several ducks roamed the walkways and swam along the water as neighbours. Not sure I would like that so much as we noted other tourists walking through, gawking at the houses.
Canals
From the Canals we walked toward the beach – Venice beach, which was quite different than Santa Monica. There were the paddle tennis courts, the muscle beach, the very touristy carny atmosphere. And then the ultimate destination – the skate park. Witnessing the speed and athleticism of the skateboarders, some younger kids and an older fellow that you see here – in person at close range – very cool.
Skateboard park Venice Beach
Rather than going to dinner at a resto my son had pre booked, we were pretty tired and still a bit full from lunch. We decided to have dinner in – so headed back to the car and to Trader Joe’s.
Trader Joe’s, another unique experience for us. The groceries cost about what they do back home even with the conversion. I think our eggs are definitely cheaper (they had a one dozen limit due to the egg crisis here right now.)
Cooked for me!
My son and his partner (girlfriend I guess, but they’re so much more serious!) made us dinner – what a treat! I have never had fried capers before. Trader Joe’s Salmon seasoning with a green salad, home made croutons and fried capers.
After almost 20,000 steps, what a great way to end Day 1.
I’ll put up other posts of our activities, but still catching my breath as we were there for 8 days!
Are you patriotic? What does being patriotic mean to you?
Never more proud of being Canadian than right now.
I’ve always been a proud Canadian -my parents immigrated here and as first gen born here I grew up during a time when assimilation was what I thought was key to survival. But what I realized as I got older, and especially after I had kids of my own, is that the gift that being in Canada allows me, is the gift of being allowed to celebrate our differences. Celebrate differences and appreciate them, while living in a democratic country that, more often than not (I’m not totally naive, I know we have our challenges…).embraces them.
This is flag day in Canada. Ironically I am not home to celebrate that, but if I were home I would wave that flag proudly, amongst all the Canadian snow that has just blanketed my fellow Canadians. I also watched some of the 4 nations hockey tournament today, and watched Team Canada and Team USA play.
3 fights in the first 9 seconds. And while I don’t condone violence, I have to admit that I did relish our Canadian guys pounding on the US players. Just for a tiny instant before I gave my head a shake. Ultimately Team USA won the game – but I was still proud of our boys.
I don’t like that the current environment brought us to this point. I hate that, as I have always considered Americans friends, and I still do. But the jokes and threats on our sovereignty have brought out a fierce patriotism – one that has always been there but now out in full force.
We’re bracing for a major snowstorm. Most of Southern Canada will get walloped with up to 40 cm of snow. The snow is expected to start tonight and continue into early Thursday morning. I’ve been watching for weather alerts, watching the news (in between all the Trump trade war news – I can’t even go there, it pains me so much what he is doing. An attack on your best trading partner, a partnership founded on so much history, friendship and solidarity. Not to mention how it will severely impact Americans as well as Canadians…)
Sorry, back to the weather.
All non-essential travel is discouraged. Pearson Airport has already canceled some flights. Some universities are even contemplating closing, hardy universities that seldom close. I remember making my kids go to school when they canceled school buses – schools were kept open. They weren’t eligible to take buses when they were older as school was a walkable distance. So I told my son he could walk to high school. Imagine that. He whined and pleaded, but I still made him go. He got to class and Facetimed me.
No one, not even the teacher, made it to class. Yes, I’m a hardcore Tiger Mom. But I did let him come home.
I mean, when I was in school we never had snow days. Although I’m ancient – like “Little House on the Prairie” era ancient – anyone else wear Holly Hobbie shirts back in the day? Well, I jest. but I did find out that Little House IS getting a reboot by the way. Another post on that later.
Thank goodness my husband finally bought a snowblower last year. For the first time in the 24 years we’ve lived in this house. He’s used it a total of two times. Once last year. And the second time a few weeks ago. Then it broke down.
Great timing. Good thing it’s covered under warranty. It’s a bit too big to fit in my car to be taken for repair. (He thinks – hasn’t tried yet). So it will sit so usefully in our garage as we get that 40 cm accumulation later tonight.
Let’s get out those shovels.
Sigh.
So in honour of the snow, I put on what I call my snowflake sweater:
And yes, that is a new zit that I am sporting on my chin. What is UP with menopause acne.
I belong to a Facebook group for parents of students at my daughter’s university. Although we had already gone through this post-high school stage with our son, we hadn’t been as involved. Being the firstborn and having so many different social groups, his transition was pretty seamless. Sure, he needed our support first year (and during later years, unscrupulous landlord, advice, all that…). But it was helpful that a bunch of his friends attended the same university. Even the same program, and we were very good friends with the parents.
Both hubs and I had instilled the idea of going away to university in both the kids. I had stayed home. I saved some money, but I didn’t feel a part of the university as a commuter kid. I often feel that I had missed out. I remember it being a very stressful time even though I was living at home. My parents stressed me out, but that’s a story for another day.
After doing her online research and going on a campus tour, she made her choice. She knew no one in her program. She didn’t know anyone going to the same school before or with her. She has always been independent that way. Didn’t matter where her friends were going – she wasn’t even sure where they were when we asked! So peer pressure not so much of a thing. She made this decision. This was after spending a couple of years in virtual high school from her bedroom during COVID. There’s a whole cohort of kids affected by these unusual pandemic circumstances.
We leaned in to be on alert and mindful of her mental health (and that of both our kids). University life is stressful. And coming at a time with changing bodies, increased societal expectations and the weight of impending adulthood. It is a lot.
Many other parents are together with us in this group, trying to navigate this world together from afar. We received a lot of great advice and support beyond the first year. I still get notifications from the group and offer advice when I can. We are thankful that she has settled in well. She has made some very good friends and she loves her roommates. She is naturally introverted and a homebody, but learning to advocate for herself and enjoying her studies.
This past weekend some parents posted about students in a certain residence receiving emails about happenings. About seeing medical personnel in the vicinity. Very concerning emails.
I woke up this morning to a post linked to a notice on the university website. A heartbreaking update, about the passing of a student in that residence. The university is mourning and has made counseling services available for students. She was likely in first year, as residence is typically only available for those first years away from home. I was brought to tears when I read about it. It’s a parent’s worst nightmare, I can’t imagine how awful this is for her parents, family, and friends. And how awful it must have been for her.
I texted my daughter about it this morning. I’d just brought her to the bus yesterday for her trip back to school. She’d been talking about the news with her roommates – news must have spread very quickly on campus. I needed to check in on her. I wanted to make sure she knows that she is loved. We are here for her about anything and everything. Being here for her . And I can’t wait to give her a huge hug and kiss again.
At a time 
5th Anniversary of Covid
I’m trying to be more forward-thinking. The pace of change reflected in the daily news these days, provides a lack of predictability on several levels. It’s like whiplash. I’m typically a planner. I am in a good position to have options and have the benefit of going with the flow. There was no better evidence of needing to do that, than the pandemic experience.
Daria posted about her experiences with some thoughtful questions. I am taking inspiration from her. Here we go:
What do you remember most? I remember the anti-Asian sentiment and feeling targetted for being Chinese. I remember being obsessed about toilet paper, hand sanitizer, Lysol spray, gloves, and masks
I became crafty (hats anyone?) Who knew?
I went on to make enough to cover the heads of my immediate family. My mother got 2. My aunt also got 2. I made them for my siblings and all of their spouses and kids. Yes, I am a bit obsessive.
How did we get here? I was getting ready for a work trip on January 19, my second visit since October. I had heard rumblings of this wave of sickness making its way across the globe. And thinking it would be good if I could get a mask, maybe at the airport. While at the airport I couldn’t find any, but I didn’t worry much.
As I sat in my seat waiting for take-off, I got a text from my son:
“Mom, did I hear right from Dad? Are you flying to Seattle?
“Yup, just finished boarding”
“You do realize, they just identified the first case of this virus in the US. In Washington. What the … ?!”
It’s true. It had been confirmed in Everett—about a 20-minute drive from my company’s head office. I was flying into the unknown. That was January. It was only going to get worse.
We were monitoring the situation closely. My daughter was scheduled to go on her first trip abroad with school. She was going to Portugal and Spain for March break, how exciting at 15. I had gone out and bought a box of KN95 masks for her to take with her. We had already got some Euros for her to bring for tipping. We were hoping for the best. We were proud of her for wanting to do something adventurous. The pandemic hit Spain and Portugal first and several students could not return home to their countries because of it. Our school trip was cancelled just days before they were scheduled to fly out, which was a blessing.
Who went through this with you? Despite the doom and gloom, we did a lot of cocooning and isolating as a family. It brought my son home from university for a few chunks at a time. I was working from home, a job that I had secured as 100% remote the fall before. My husband was keeping busy after just achieving lifetime permanent status with our national airline (irony – now that he couldn’t go anywhere). Thank goodness he was at home – he had done a work stint in China a year earlier.
My daughter took her high school classes online – from her bed. Thank goodness for the internet, I was able to keep up with my Mom, in her 80s and amazingly agile on her iPhone.
Where did you go through this event? At home and no where else. Except to the grocery store – when we were allowed with “social distancing” (a new term).
We had family and friends’ meetings on line though. Several family Zoom reunions, with some family we had never met in person. A couple of high school reunions. Some girlfriend Zoom social hangs.
We did rent a cottage for a week’s summer vacation – it was outrageously expensive at the time.
How did you feel then? I felt somewhat in a bubble. I immersed myself in work. I had the option to go to head office as much as I wanted before Covid. I did try to go a couple times during, but with testing requirements and timing, it didn’t work out. But I felt so productive. We worked so well together internally. We also collaborated effectively with our external colleagues to accomplish amazing things.
I worried for my daughter. A lot . Life can be tough enough when you’re 15 without a global pandemic. We had just found a solution to help her deal with anxiety about going to school . And then this.
What changed in your world? I lost my part tine gig teaching at the gym. The gym! It has been my mainstay over the last 20 years. I did get the Les Mills app, I did manage to workout at home. But group fitness was not sustainable during the pandemic. I missed my fellow dance instructors and most importantly the great people who came to my classes. We lost a lot of instructors and the class has not recovered unfortunately.
Our travel was cut down, and we have not travelled as a family unit since before the pandemic. But it is also life. Family vacations are harder to keep up when your kids have their own schedules and friends.
What changed in YOU? I became more outgoing, less filtered, more the “real me” with people. Perhaps it was working on Zoom and freeing my inhibitions. I lost some of my imposter syndrome. Isolated in my office tucked in the corner of my house, working solo in person but with hundreds of folks online– I hit major high points in my career. More open to change than I ever was before.
I became more family focussed, and nostalgic. I don’t think I was alone in that. I’m trying to do more with my siblings, and taking advantage of more time to spend with my mom on a regular basis. I hope I’m being nicer to my husband but you’d have to ask him if that’s working.
How do you feel about the pandemic NOW – it feels like it was a dream. Except for the fact that I still have several boxes full of masks (see above, ie. me being obsessive…) life has normalized. I feel it brought out the best but also the absolute worst. Memories can be so short. It was just five years ago that we were slammed with this global crisis. The virus spread like wildfire because we are so interconnected. It brought out some awful divisiveness. Good people around the world also worked together to get us back to new normalcy. I wish people would remember that.