Holiday planters and not momming

I finally got into some of the Christmas spirit this weekend. Normally I get very excited as soon as December 1 hits. This year it’s taking me longer, I’m just not feeling it.

I can’t believe Christmas is just over two weeks away. We are hosting my family for Christmas dinner this year. We’ll have about 20 people here. I need to decorate the house. I also need to declutter about 24 years of stuff to prepare for the renovation in January. My husband is doing the majority of the booking, planning and sourcing for the renovation, but I am stressing about all that has to be done with our “stuff” to empty the rooms for the reno.

We are renovating 4 rooms. Getting rid of popcorn ceilings, adding new lighting, new paint, new fireplace and replacing wood floors. I had a meltdown about the floors – my husband is very particular about this stuff. I don’t care as long as it is decent looking and hardy enough, I don’t want to spend a mint. Anything is better than the parquet we currently have. It’s just floor and we’ve lived here for 24 years – I doubt we or our kids, will be living here for another 24. I’m pragmatic. Four rooms of floor is a lot of wood which is not cheap these days.

I don’t think the meltdown was about the floor though. It hit me this weekend that in less than a month, my baby boy will be literally flying away, leaving the nest. He is starting a new life over 2500 miles away. I’m proud and happy for him, but I’m a tiny bit heartbroken at the same time. It’s a happy/sad milestone for me as a mother.

He was downtown this weekend but came home mid-Sunday afternoon while I was out getting groceries. He asked if I could pick up some coconut milk for a snack he was making. While I was out, I picked out some greenery to make holiday planters for our entrance. He called me and texted a few times when I took too long. My phone did not vibrate (I hate notifications). I guess since I was only a 5 minute drive away, not showing up over an hour later was a bit concerning!

The planters are done – cost me only $28 for both! Seeing as the Costco planters are about $40 a piece I’d say this was not a bad effort. Sometimes keeping stuff year over year, is a good thing (yes I am a packrat, hence the stress – see above – about decluttering!)

“The planters look great mom! When you come in, I can’t wait for you to try the ramen with the chili crisp coconut Thai sauce that I made”

Yeah, that’s what I’m going to miss.

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Favourite Daughter – A book review

Favorite Daughter by Morgan Dick

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


Mickey is a kindergarten teacher, who loves her job, but is a damaged soul. She grew up living with her single mother, after being abandoned suddenly by a father who she remembers worshipping before he just left. Her relationship with her mom is strained. She lives paycheque to paycheque.
Arlo is a psychologist who is experiencing the loss of her father after a prolonged illness. She was his primary caregiver once he got sick, and she worshipped him. She grew up with the best of everything as her dad was rich. Her relationship with her mother is not great – her mom most interested in spending the money of her wealthy father.

Where do these stories intersect? Mickey and Arlo are half-sisters – they share a father. A father who dies and leaves most of his fortune to Mickey, the daughter he abandoned, and he cuts Arlo out of his will entirely. The only condition that Mickey must fulfill to cash in on millions is that she must attend counselling with – yes, you’ve got it – Arlo. Unbeknownst to either of them that they are related at the beginning, the story goes from there. Will they find out, how will they react, what will happen?
I really appreciated the concept of this story. The book got off to a great start, focusing on Mickey and her life; she is an unlikeable character, very flawed, but seemingly has a heart of gold as she is a kindergarten teacher. Who seems to be well loved by her students – if she could only keep her personal life straight. You can’t help but feel for her as she was abandoned at a young age – but she keeps on spiraling, even as she has this fortune sitting in front of her.

Arlo as a character seems just too good to be true – are psychologists always at the ready to try to fix/help people? She seems to accept the fact that she is cut out of the will with more curiosity rather than anger. At least that’s the way I read it. I couldn’t sympathize with her much either based on her actions.
All of the characters seemed too closely knit, and kept showing up in each other’s lives so randomly, with paths crossing so conveniently (the sisters, the ex, the neighbour etc..). It helped move the story along, but I didn’t really engage with any of the characters enough to feel for any of them. Especially the lawyer, gross guy, into meditation and therapy but then brokering the deal/will between both sisters. And the romance thrown in there for Mickey as possibility with her student’s uncle. A lot of different paths for the story to take, probably too many, and not enough novel to explore all of them that effectively.
The writing of the dialogue and emotions were good, and the plot line had promise. A solid 3- it is worth a read. Thank you to Penguin Random House and NetGalley for the advanced copy for an honest review.




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The Lotus Shoes – a Book review

The Lotus Shoes by Jane Yang

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


A tale of two young girls as they grow into young women in 1800s China. A time when the best chances for women to succeed in life were to marry well, hopefully into a noble family of high standing. The chances of that were amplified if your feet were bound- a sign of a girl being from a good family (ladies didn’t have to work) and a beauty standard. These tiny feet were known as golden lilies, that would fit into pretty “lotus shoes”.

Little Flower, has had her feet bound from a young age as her mother was preparing her for future prospects of a good marriage. Due to hard times, her mother is forced to sell Little Flower to a family where she becomes the muizai, an indentured servant to the LinJing, the young daughter of the first wife of a noble family. The promise is that she will be freed once they find a suitable marriage for Little Flower when she comes of age. Little Flower is a slave girl to LinJing, to be at her beck and call. She is a sweet girl who LinJing’s mother takes an automatic liking to.

What follows is a story of hardship and tragedy, envy and jealousy as the two girls grow up together. Are they close? They share a bond due to their lot in life as women in a man’s world, dealing with class and family obligations and expectations, and centuries old traditions. I had no idea of the absolute brutality of the system of servitude and what women had to do (and had to do to each other!) to survive. The relationship between LinJing and Little Flower is forced upon them, and each have their own struggles that force them to choose between themselves and each other. Is a friendship or a close relationship even possible? All of this while the modern world and views of the West are fast approaching, and women in general are forging more independence. Foot binding as a practice is becoming a signal of the old world.

I absolutely loved this book. I am Canadian born Chinese. My mother has told me of her own muizai (a girl of her age who was her personal servant) that she had when she was a young girl, before the Japanese attacked China in the 1940s. This girl had to do everything at my mother’s bidding. My grandmother freed all of their indentured servants during that war. My grandfather had several wives. My mom came from a well to do family, but she grew into a very modern career woman despite growing up with all brothers in a man’s world. This book made me appreciate even more how hard she had to fight for everything she has accomplished based on her start in China/Hong Kong.

The story, the beautiful descriptions with amazing sensory detail and emotional pull of the characters, the historical detail … it all had me hooked from the very first page. Highly recommended. Thank you to NetGalley and Harper Collins Canada for an advanced copy for review.




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Sleep wars

Daily writing prompt
Are you more of a night or morning person?
Photo by Acharaporn Kamornboonyarush on Pexels.com

Darn, I missed my Friday post! I was supposed to write it after I got home from my Friday evening outing (will be in my bonus post..). But I went to bed to read. So I dropped the NaBloPoMo ball for the first time I’ve ever participated. I won’t beat myself up over it – after all, kindness starts at home.

So in answer to the prompt – I am likely more of a morning person. Who likes to stay up late at night. Herein lies the problem. Lack of sleep.

I am a morning person, but an extroverted introvert at parties. I’m usually the last to leave a good party too. I like watching late night TV. I will read late into the night. My husband is definitely NOT a morning person, and is usually the first to bed.

On the flip side, I find the quiet mornings are a time for me to reflect, before any movement in the house, to relax a bit and plan before the day gets going. I sit with my coffee, do some DuoLingo, watch some early morning television (Breakfast Television, which gives me a positive boost – and was where we discovered the play that I will write about in the next post). And get on my other screen(s). Occasionally blog like today.

We both wear FitBits and for a time there was a friendly rivalry. Until it became not so friendly. I once got a sleep score of 80 (good) after 5 hours of sleep. So an honours grade!! My husband in comparison, would get a sleep score of 70 after almost 9 hours of sleep. Passable. I am just so efficient, what can I say? My body clock won’t let me sleep past 7 am most days – if I wake up at 8:30 I have really slept in! Even if I go to bed at 1 am.

In response to my rocking sleep scores, my husband would loving say “B*tch” – haha. For the sake of our marriage, we stopped comparing scores. Don’t worry we’ve been together for almost 40 years, married for 32, we’re in it for the long haul.

But how much sleep does one really need? I know there are studies that show optimum sleep is 7 – 8 for someone my age. I’ve borrowed books about sleep, as if I can do something about it. I suppose I can – but is stressing about the lack of the perfect amount of sleep worth it? For the last couple of years I feel lucky if I get more than 6 hours. I feel refreshed enough. It must be my normal.

So what’s on my agenda today? Double up on the blog posts (this is THE last day so catching up is ok); do some shopping for a Chinese hot pot dinner we’re hosting tonight, so some decluttering to prep for upcoming reno, drop off some donations – and enjoy having all the kids home tonight (including bonus kid, my son’s GF!)

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Thirsty Thursday

I saw this on a list of blog post inspiration, and realized that today I went a little beyond my usual coffee – water – coffee repertoire! I admit, I love my coffee.

First coffee of the day was Balzac’s anniversary blend – it’s a Canadian coffee celebrating 30 years in Canada! Love its notes of chocolate.

Next, my mom and I went out for lunch at a local Chinese restaurant where I had Hong Kong Tea – a traditional tea made of black tea and condensed milk

Photo by Aryan Kumar on Pexels.com

I got home and then had a cup of Lipton’s green tea – it’s starting to get cold so it was just what I needed after running errands with Mom.

Then I headed out to dinner with my previous work team – it was so wonderful to see them! I had built our small team from scratch. We had such great times and accomplished so much, just the four of us. And while I moved on earlier this year, they were split up under different managers and now don’t work as a team anymore. A little bittersweet but we made a pact to see each other again in the new year.

I had a nice glass of Jackson Triggs Merlot (a Canadian winery) which went so well with my prime rib.

Photo by Posawee Suwannaphati on Pexels.com

And finally, I ended dinner with a lovely Latte!

 

And now, because none of the above was decaffeinated, I will not go to sleep for a long while! Sigh…

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Wordless Wednesday

(Moules-frites!)

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Musical post – Canadian Indie Bands

I’ve been a huge fan of alternative rock music since the 80’s and there are a couple of Toronto radio stations (yes, I still listen to radio!) that I tune into when I’m driving. The original, 102.1 the Edge, was my first go-to and where I was first introduced to the genius of Alan Cross (who I met live not long ago…) and more recently Indie 88. We’ve got some wicked talent in Canada – but I just realized that some of the bands that were “alt” originated over 30 years ago (!!).

So perhaps a little grayer but still edgy (what can I say, some of these guys are dads!

One of my faves who we’ve seen live in concert twice, is SLOAN- (formed in 1991). They remind me a bit of the Beatles, such talented song writers /musicians each of them – they all sing and play different instruments:

Then there’s Our Lady Peace (OLP) who just were awarded a spot on Canada’s Walk of Fame. I have yet to see them live as a band, but their lead singer Raine Maida is married to Chantal Kreviazuk a solo female artist who sings gorgeous ballads on piano. I have seen them in concert as a couple (and ran into Chantal at the airport on the way to Seattle, she was sweet, I DM’d her on socials afterwards about something and she responded :). Yes, they are beautiful couple, with beautiful boys.

A fun younger band that I discovered lately is getting a lot of radio play – Valley. A very infectious sound:

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Must-Watch Streaming Series

So much to stream, so little time.

One of my must do’s over the holiday season will be to binge watch shows with my daughter. We got caught up on a few series last time she was home. We also watch those Hallmark holiday movies – they are a little silly but they do help set the holiday vibe for the next couple of months.

Here’s a few of the TV series I’m streaming:

1/ Shrinking – by the creators of Ted Lasso. The whole cast is fantastic, the sad/happy storylines very well written:

2/ Bad Sisters – Irish actors are phenomenal. If you’re a fan of black comedy, you’ll love this. I’m just getting caught up, as they’re releasing Season 2 episodes as we speak.

3/ The Diplomat – I’ve developed an obsession with Keri Russell, now that I found the Dear Felicity Podcast. She is such a wonderful actress. I still have to get to the Americans at some point.

The plan is to watch Felicity with my daughter – the four seasons cover four years of university. Like Felicity, I made a decision about post-secondary schooling based on a boy. Never a good practice. It worked out ok for me in the end (we did not stay together), but since we broke up during school, I do not have great memories of university.

It should be interesting to see if she enjoys the show as much as I did way back when.

Do you have any streaming recommendations? (Like a need more distractions to help me further procrastinate – I have major decluttering goals for end of the year…)

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My favourite things to wear- holiday season

Daily writing prompt
What are your two favorite things to wear?
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My everyday outfit usually involves something I wear to the gym, sweats or jeans. I know the daily prompt called for 2 things and that’s technically 3. Oh well, it’s still a whole lot less than what I used to have to consider when I worked in an office.

I confess, I have a stuffed closet. I haven’t bought any work related clothes since 2019, when I bought a suit for an in person interview. After that, me and and the rest of the world went to Zoom meetings.

I do have a ton of gym wear – I went a little nuts with the discounts that I could get when I started teaching group fitness. But that’s ok, since I’m at the gym 4-5 days a week, I tell myself it was worth it. Lately I haven’t bought much new, but I do check out Salvation Army and Value Village for any vintage finds.

I treated myself to one item for the holiday season, though:

I had been eyeing this skirt for the last couple of weeks, and decided to pop into the Old Navy right next to my gym on Friday. This same skirt was on clearance for $13.99. And I had some loyalty points so I paid seven whole dollars for it! That’s like 85% off. I wore this last night for a family holiday dinner. Comfy and casual with black hose, the teeny bit of sheen giving the holiday flavour. We are hosting my family for Christmas this year, and this will also work well as hostess. It’s hard to believe there was ever a time when I used to buy a new evening gown every holiday season for the big company soirees that my husband and I attended. Times sure have changed, and thank goodness, as things are just all so ridiculously expensive now.

Do you have any holiday events to dress up for this year?

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Creative writing step one

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I finished up my first ever creative writing course, and got my final grade report. Honours. Cool.

This is the first Saturday in the last eight weeks that I haven’t been editing, re-reading, re-hashing a new five page scene for submission to my instructor for feedback. Once I hit “send” I could then get on with my weekend. Before picking things up on Monday, reviewing a classmate’s piece for workshopping and reading assignments due on Tuesday. Seven scenes written about my life for critical commentary. Rather exhausting, and harrowing going back to some not wonderful moments in my life. It seemed the deeper and sadder I got, the better my writing. At least that’s how it appeared to me with the feedback! So it’s a bit liberating not to have that pressure today.

On the other hand, wow, did I ever have a blast. I was engaged in a creative way. I was learning about what constitutes a great scene, I was told I was good with sensory detail, that my writing is crisp and easy flowing. I also received some wonderful constructive criticism. And a feeling that if I ever wanted to publish, there is a market for it.

I’ve got a thirst for good, great writing. Not just from some of my classmates (I was blown away)… but also from the reading assignments. We’d read an excerpt “The Bird Tribunal” by Agnes Ravatn a few weeks ago. Not a memoir but written in the first person, and we were all captivated. A Scandinavian novel, with great description of nature and an overarching mood of foreboding. When I woke up at a stupid early time this morning (6 AM on a Saturday for no good reason)… I found it as an ebook at the library, and finished it in one setting.

This course has changed the way I read. I don’t want to be a reading snob, but I have a more critical eye. I appreciate things that are done well, and lose patience for long meandering descriptions and plot lines. I may have more “DNF”s in my Goodreads selections going forward.

I think I will continue writing my scenes, just not at that crazy speed. Writing requires a lot of commitment with little reward. Perhaps the reward is just finding the creative side of myself again.

One of the pieces we read was written by an author who published her first book at 65! So there is hope.

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