Meet Cody: resilient senior dog

Posted on November 21, 2024 by karenmeg

This is Cody, our 16 year old Shih Tzu. We adopted him when he was 4 (they thought he was 2 when we applied for him, but found some of his original papers so they gave us a $50 discount!). He has been such a great addition to the family.

I didn’t have a pet while I was growing up. My mother told us she was afraid of animals. She was uncomfortable whenever we went to a family friend’s house who had a Pekingnese dog, (although he was a yappy, snappy thing they kept in the basement, Lucky freaked me out too). My dad brought a kitten home once, that lasted about 3 weeks with us before my mom found it another home. Mom said we could get a pet when we had homes of our own. I only found out years later that she did have pets while she was young. But their association with horrible childhood memories of war prevented her from having pets as an adult.

Flash forward to 12 years ago. The kids had finally worn us down, and despite it being the busiest of times for our household, with all the lessons, competitive sports, school, and the two of us with jobs that involved travel – I decided to find a dog for us. We also had the assistance of a nanny at the time, who was a pet lover – that was what sealed the deal. There was no way we would have been able to welcome Cody without Abie. And Mom loves Cody – she even made a sweater for her grand furbaby:

That’s Cody in his favourite nook, with his favourite cushion. It’s mostly just the two of us who are with him now – the kids have their busy lives mostly away from home. He’s a trooper, withstood two big dental surgeries (such a stubborn breed, he never let us brush his teeth); surgery for his bladder stones; glaucoma; and he’s a cancer survivor. Diagnosed through bloodwork, he never developed symptoms of myeloma – we were able to get him on treatment quickly and he went into remission for a bit, then it came back. He’s on maintenance chemotherapy now and he’s well managed.

He’s blind (he can sort of see shadows) and likely a little deaf; at night he wanders the house a little directionless -so he’s definitely got his senior moments. He always slept most of the day- nowadays he’s likely only awake a couple of hours a day. He is very unsettled when we aren’t around, and we’ve tried to take him on vacations to dog friendly spots – but he is too out of sorts. I get it, he knows where he is at home but elsewhere he’s lost. He has a routine. So rather than being empty-nesters, we’re sort of stuck at home unless one of the kids can stay with him.

An interesting thing happened the other day. There was a door to door salesperson who came by trying to sell us on a new internet plan. We’ve been in this house since my son was born and we know which service works and doesn’t. This fellow was particularly adamant, and my husband was polite in saying no, but it did take a little while for him to move off. And just as the salesperson finally left, Cody started barking like crazy. We haven’t heard Cody bark in probably about 2 years – since he lost his sight.

Cody has always had the loudest, most vicious bark – I suppose with him being 13 pounds when wet, his bark is pretty much all he has. So in that sense, he was always a great guard dog.

I guess he’s still got some of that guard dog ability – who knew?

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Wordless Wednesday

Posted on November 20, 2024 by karenmeg

Morrissey

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There’s a Light That Never Goes Out

Posted on November 19, 2024 by karenmeg

Hopefully he sings this tonight – going to see Morrissey live, in concert.

(I did like the movie 500 Days of Summer, they’re both so cute in this…)

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Fingernails and soul mates

Posted on November 18, 2024 by karenmeg

Saturday night is typically in house movie night if we don’t have any other plans. Once in a blue moon we’ll have either of our kids at home to watch with us, but with just the two of us I usually try to find something out of the ordinary. I’ve been pretty successful with a few, Will and Harper; A Street cat named Bob, Flora and Son,

This past weekend, I chose Fingernails. I thought it was an interesting storyline and the actors were of such high calibre: Jessie Buckley, Jeremy Allan White, Riz Ahmed -serious acting chops, right ?

I must admit, I was also sucked in by the song in the trailer – “Only You” – Yaz/Alison Moyet. (an aside, I am going to see Alison Moyet live next year – yay!)

So there’s this machine (looks like a microwave oven) that can test the fingernails of each of a couple and tell if you’re a perfect match. If you find out that you are, it pretty much guarantees that you will stay together, you won’t divorce, that you’re meant for each other. You can be tested at the Love Institute, where you can also undergo a program with your partner, led through a series of exercises and training, that will increase your chances of being a match before testing. Anna (Jessie Buckley) and Ryan (Jeremy Allan White) have been together for a while, have a pretty good life as a couple, and have been tested as 100% . They have a “Love Certificate” to attest to that. Despite this, Anna feels a bit restless and goes for a job at the Love Institute, where Amir (Riz Ahmad) is her mentor. And you can see where that goes. There are some funny bits, but it is a rather bizarre movie. And rather torturous when you think about the test in itself, why anyone would do that (I couldn’t watch those scenes even though they weren’t graphic).

The acting was quite good, but I was somewhat underwhelmed by the movie as a whole. There were several Canadian actors and Toronto the city acted as the backdrop, which was fun. But the ending was rather abrupt. Not that I always need things tied up nicely with a bow, but it just sort of ended.

But it got me thinking – if indeed something like this existed, would I bother taking the test?

Well not now, I’ve been with my husband since university days, married 31 years, 2 kids, we’ve grown up together and figured things out. That being said, split ups at our age aren’t unheard of (especially once kids are older). What if we were just together a few years, and hit a slump? Would one not put as much energy into nurturing the relationship if they had a certificate confirming 100% compatibility?

I don’t think I believe in the concept of soul mates, but it is helpful for a relationship when there is a foundation of similar values, compromise and flexibility, and laughter. On a daily basis, laughter is key.

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National Fast Food Day

Posted on November 17, 2024 by karenmeg

Wow I can’t believe I missed it!

What is your favourite fast food?

At my age I try not to indulge too often, but I can’t say no to an Egg McMuffin from Mc Donalds – that and a medium black coffee are my go-to. And I’m not gonna lie, if there are fries at the bottom of the bag I will eat them. This is a family affair though; I don’t eat breakfast as a rule, and it’s usually part of a family order that my husband and daughter grab on a Friday after he’s picked her up from the bus station for a weekend home from school.

I do love a good burger every so often, but I don’t eat the big chain ones. There’s a local place we get from called Fresh Burger which we will order as a treat. It was started by a local fellow with roots in the financial industry. I remember going there in early days, it was just him and his wife and his teenage kids occasionally. They’ve now got almost a dozen locations. What a success story. And the burgers are very tasty and affordable.

We are also big pizza lovers but alas, I have had to cut down on that a lot. I’m trying to ease up on the carbs, diabetes runs in the family so I’m afraid my risk of developing it myself gets higher every day. I’m not a sweets person (I prefer savoury), but at my last physical I was told to watch the sweets.

It’s all in the diet, folks. Yup, I’m talking like an old person.

I suppose with Uber Eats anything can be fast food these days. So fast food is getting expensive. As my kids are now more aware of the cost of things, like food, they’re not indulging as much anymore either. Well, unless Mom or Dad are in the car for a quick drive through!

Tim Horton’s anyone?

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From Childhood to Adulthood: My Love for Libraries

Posted on November 16, 2024 by karenmeg

I love books, I’ve always loved to read and the library has had a place in my life since I first picked up a book in elementary school. When we moved into a new subdivision where there was no public library, we had the “Bookmobile” that would come around. The Bookmobile parked at our school parking lot and I would be so excited to run to it, climb up the stairs into the tiny corridor (it had stairs inside too) that just smelled of books, all those paperbacks.

I went through all the Nancy Drew books, some of the Hardy Boys and Bobbsey Twins; then Harriet the Spy; as I got older, the Judy Blume books, Flowers in the Attic, Harlequin romances when I was 13 (yes such realistic portrayals of love LOL)… When a public library opened in the local mall across the street from my high school, I went there regularly for research but also to pick up great fiction. At that time I also began to realize how much the library was about community, with its bulletin board with community events, job postings. I posted a piece of paper offering piano lessons at my home with my phone number as tear offs and did find some students that way. After high school, I was focused on academic reading so the university libraries were where I hung out, not so much frequenting the public library.

I rediscovered borrowing books once I started full time work. Although by then I could afford to buy books, and Indigo is just such a pretty lifestyle store.

We moved into this neighbourhood when I was expecting our son. The local public library became the best place for us when the kids were young – what a great gathering space with children’s programs, librarians who read to kids, play rooms, community events so young mothers could meet other young mothers. And children could read books, play computer games and start learning how to research. All for free!

I remember the kids being so excited to go to the library. Parking in the underground, plopping my daughter into her stroller and making our way over to the convenient elevator that took us up into the modern building with so many windows letting in bright light.

If the kidlets wanted some computer time, I would get some of the recent issues of magazines, and let them play. A bit of mommy time, keeping half an eye on them while I flipped through the glossy pages of House and Home, Bon Appetit, Elle, Vogue, Vanity Fair and the occasional People Magazine. Later on a small cafe opened on the main floor, so when you entered you could smell the delicious aroma of coffee and vanilla hot chocolate, my daughter’s favourite as a tween. By that time, we would be going to the library to pick up DVDs for family movie night, and I would get the latest CDs to listen to in the car or at home. Memories of my time as a stay-at-home mom, a treasured time for me, a big part of my story.

With the advent of audio books, e-books, and movies that we can now borrow online through library apps, and with the kids getting into high school and then off to university, there was no need to frequent the library. Certainly less so during the pandemic – but I still borrowed hard copy books, putting them on hold, and selecting convenient times for pick up at scheduled slots. Reading was super helpful during Covid times.

Now that I have more free time, (again), I seem to be putting more books on hold than ever, I can barely keep up. I went a couple of days ago to return a book. I noticed all the new offerings of programs for adults and children, writers’ residence, books clubs, job search groups … you can even borrow tools and baking pans (!) … so much community lives in this space. The cafe has re-opened and they are still serving those white hot chocolates, with sandwiches and muffins now too. This wonderful feeling of comfort and nostalgia washed over me as I walked by the children’s area. Those were halcyon days.

It’s so lovely to know that there’s a place to go to experience that feeling again.

Do you visit your local library?

(A sculpture of Girl with a Book, at our local library)

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Podcasts

Posted on November 15, 2024 by karenmeg

Do you listen to podcasts?

I discovered a whole bunch of them during the pandemic (great to listen to when getting my steps in everyday) and it created a whole new avenue of time wasting for me. Well, time-wasting to the practical side of me – although agreed, I was getting steps in at the time. And to be fair, there have been some interesting, educational ones that I’ve stumbled upon in my podcast travels. They are also great for driving trips.

Here’s a roundup of some that I used to listen to quite regularly, and pull up every so often.

1/ Smartless

Jason Bateman, Will Arnett and Sean Hayes started these sessions during the pandemic – and I gobbled them up, after all, I crave all things celebrity. Each episode, they have a guest celebrity of one of the hosts choosing, to come in for a talk. The other hosts apparently have no clue who the guest is, and they try to guess through clues at the front end, before all is revealed and they get into the meat of the interview. These guys are absolutely hilarious, I love how they keep the insults coming at each other, although sometimes they are so busy talking trash to each other, the guest becomes as much of a listener as we do, waiting until they’re done to get back into the conversation. They’ve had tons of celebrity guests, too many good ones to list here. I’m not such a regular lately, but will pull them up if I haven’t had a listen in a while.

2/ WTF with Marc Maron

I discovered Marc Maron while watching his Netflix special and his discussion about health supplements and turmeric. Who knew his podcast has been around forever, he has 1585 episodes, launched in 2009 ! A lot to get through. He’s also an amazing guitar player, and loves his pets. He has great celebrities and non-celebrities, sometimes it can get a bit long but if you hang around there are some zingers every so often that will just make you laugh for days.

3/ Literally – with Rob Lowe

Also a pandemic find, I was surprised at how good a conversationalist he is. He is just so darn handsome, he seems to be able to write (I read one of his memoirs and quite liked it) and he is quite funny. Perfect hair, which seems to get better with age. My husband thinks he’s such a bastard LOL.

4. Q with Tom Power

I love the CBC, Canada’s national broadcasting station. It has such amazing programming, it’s not just about new, it’s about arts, literature, politics, celebrity, and it is uniquely Canada, this station. I know that there are folks who don’t think a publicly funded station should exist anymore, but I really hope it continues to be made available to Canadians.

One of the best shows is Q, now hosted by Tom Power. Tom is such a talented interviewer – amazing that he was first a musician only – I think that’s how he relates so well with artists and the community. He gets them. He is respectful, a fan (but he doesn’t fawn like crazy, he is reserved enough), he does his research, he’s smart and he seems just so genuinely nice. I was happy to see Q episodes show up in podcast form. They’re not long, just shorter sound bites of under 30 minutes.

5. Dear Felicity

I just recently discovered The Diplomat with Keri Russell and wouldn’t it be neat if it was Felicity the character who grew up to become an Ambassador! I stumbled on the Dear Felicity podcast, and what a fun blast of the past it is. I was a big fan even though I am a little older…there was a part of me that regretted not going away for school, and following Felicity’s journey to NYC was the ultimate fantasy. And I really thought about naming my son Ben when he was born (but glad I didn’t, two of his best friends growing up were Bens!

I listened to a bunch of others but just can’t keep up: The Daily, The Readout Loud, The Mel Robbins Podcast, Now What with Brooke Shields.

Do you have any podcasts to recommend?

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The Taylor Effect

Posted on November 14, 2024 by karenmeg

I don’t get it. But whatever she’s doing, she’s doing it right. She’s a brilliant marketer, good musician and a super entertainer. But the hype, global focus and massive number of fans – I still don’t get it. And I’m surprised because I’m usually big on all things pop culture. I think I’m too old.

Taylor Swift is in the neighbourhood – she brought her Eras tour to Toronto for 6 sold out nights, November 14 – 23 (over the 2 weekends) and the city is going crazy. Today is DAY 1. There’s even been a street renamed for her for November (ceremonial ) – Taylor Swift Way. Fans wait at 6 AM for merchandise office to open at 10 AM – this started two days ago before the actual concert. The line snaked around for blocks. For locals, we are avoiding being anywhere downtown during those times – unless of course we are fans. And I am not – but Taylor doesn’t need me.

I know of people who have bought tickets to Europe to see her and the cost of the flight, hotel and concert, cost less than a ticket here at home. Apparently the city could see an uptick in the local economy to the tune of $280 million plus.

Glad no one in this household is a fan. It would be too expensive!

Are you a Taylor fan?

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Wordless Wednesday

Posted on November 13, 2024 by karenmeg

Coffee anyone? (my favourite mugs )

Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments

Secret

Posted on November 12, 2024 by karenmeg

Since our family was completed with the birth of our daughter, I’ve been quite open about our struggles with infertility, both online and in real life.  That’s the approach we’ve taken with our friends, acquaintances, strangers even (as I get older I feel an overwhelming need to share, yeah, I need to work on that).   I discussed our experience in a leadership workshop that I ran for sixty five senior leaders a couple of years ago.  The topic – trust in leadership.   Vulnerability, and sharing of yourself, inspires trust.

After the workshop, I was approached by a few of my colleagues – albeit privately – about the positive impact of my transparency on them.  One of them had just about given up but decided to try again after she heard my story.  She told me a few months later that she was expecting.  That was the greatest feeling.

It was so different while we were trying to conceive and being disappointed time and time again.   I felt isolated, and very alone.  Even my husband, as tremendously supportive as he was, couldn’t fully cover all the emotional bases.

We hadn’t had specific discussions about when, how or even if we would approach the subject with our kids.  We let it come up organically as we’d never hidden it from them.  When my daughter was around 3, we took them to a milestone celebration for IVF Canada, our clinic.   We met several families who had also been successful with their treatments.  My kids didn’t know why we were there other than the fact that there was entertainment and cake.  So many families, the ballroom was packed.

Our IVF baby will be turning 20 soon.  Thanks to the power of the internet, my first blog, and the one about our infertility struggles, are there for the kids to read.  She’s met a few other young people who were conceived through IVF. It’s great that they can talk about it so openly.  IVF support is getting better and some employers and government have programs.  What a difference 20 years makes – but still, I believe many women and couples suffer in silence and treat the subject as taboo.

I am preparing scenes as an exercise in memoir writing. Our journey to build our family has provided a ton of emotional material.  Those feelings are still pretty easy to access. I have shared some of these scenes with my kids.  I think it’s important that they know how hard we tried.   I hope to inspire them, especially my daughter, to know that great things come from being persistent and facing obstacles.

My husband gives me a lot of credit for how much I pushed, worked hard, didn’t accept defeat as we navigated our journey.  He’s a very private optimistic guy but he sure bore a brunt of a lot of negative emotions and horrible attitude from me.  He always said he would have been fine with life as just a couple.

We would have been just fine without kids.    Frankly, it is just the two of us a lot of the time now anyway.  We have wonderful kids – adults now – who are absolutely lovely human beings. What shining lights they are for me.  They were the catalysts that propelled me on an incredible journey toward being a better human being myself.

Is there anything you’ve previously been private about that you’re now open with?

(I have tickets to see OMD next July- it was postponed from this past summer.  I am excited to finally see them live …)

Posted in infertility, It's all about me, kids, NaBloPoMo, writing | Tagged , , , | 12 Comments