At a time

Relying on another Blogher NaBloPoMo prompt-which TV series finale are you upset about and why?

For me in recent years, it had to be Parenthood. 

(Image from NBC.com)

I was so addicted to that show, so tied to those characters every week. And although it was not unexpected and very much foreshadowed throughout the last couple seasons, the patriarch’s death was still hard to take.  There was such finality to it  and they also then quickly wrapped up several storylines, it happened in super short order – it was almost too trite.  

Still, it was a great program that I feel never really got its due, despite all the great acting and plot line . It seemed family life was not so sexy or attention grabbing at the time.

This is why I am really glad that one of the best hits in the new season, This Is Us, is doing so well.  Family values, focusing on non-traditional families with real world problems.  Interesting that both are NBC shows-we need to thank whoever is in charge of programming.

In today’s world it’s a fantastic thing.

Coffee, facebooking (a noun?), contemplating a workout, planning a UFC viewing get together, and a closeup shot of my dog, who is a bit stinky and in desperate need of a groom.

Because he is so cute.
That is all.

“Did my grandfather meet me, Mommy?”

“No unfortunately, sweetie, I knew your grandpa when I first started dating Daddy, but he passed before we got married.”

“Oh, that’s too bad, I was hoping I had met him.”

I proceeded to tell my daughter about her Grandpa, the one she had never met, the one who passed almost twenty years before she was born.  The man that I had only had a glimpse of before my relationship deepened with his son.  The man that I know I would have grown to love and admire for the qualities he instilled in the man I married.

“Your Grandpa was a sailor, he was in the Canadian navy, and I think he lied about his age to get into service.”

That’s what they did back then – to serve and protect their country.

My father-in-law served as a telegrapher during WWII, searching German submarines.  I am still in awe of that fact – especially that he did so when he was about 2 years older than his grandson is today.  I cannot fathom.

On this day, I remember all those who fought so bravely, and those who to this day, still serve to honour and protect the freedoms that we are fortunate to have in this country.

(Photo of the frigate that my father in law served on in the Royal Canadian Navy during the Battle of the Atlantic)

The day does not get started for me until I have my morning coffee.

Coffee has been a bit of a running joke in this household.  When we were living with my parents while waiting for our house to close, I was also off on maternity leave with our boy.  My husband, never the early riser, would come down in a rush and my mother noticed that I didn’t pour a coffee for him first thing.  She almost took personal offense to it when I told her he could and did, pour his own.  He laughingly told me I should listen to my mother.

Flash forward years later when I went back to work full time – certainly not pouring him coffee as I was busy packing up and organizing two kids for daycare and school drop offs, while getting ready myself, barely.  Despite desperately needing the coffee, I would rarely get to it, and as a coping mechanism my husband got me the huge-mongus thermal coffee mug pictured above.  This traveling mug keeps the coffee hot for at least 6 hours – it’s total amaze balls!  It became my right hand every morning for the last 6 years, accompanying me on my commute as well as to my  first morning meetings in the office.  I was rather known for the size of the mug, and its contents, especially teased by my colleagues who were European based (how could I drink so much “brown water” as they would call it).  I’m not a huge espresso fan, obviously.

Although I am no longer on a regular work schedule, every day after I drop the kids off, the coffee mug continues to be by my side.  I fill it up to take with me to the gym;  I take it with me on my walks with Cody; it’s even made the cut on weekends.

Remarkably it’s made my transition a little easier, a little piece of continuity.  The mug sits on the “More Time for Mom” calendar in the kitchen, rather than amongst  notes for signature at the office.  You can see the corner of arts/crafts supplies just behind, that my daughter still uses in the kitchen – slime never gets old.  I’ve even got my daughter pouring my coffee the odd time these days.

For me first, before her dad.  That’s a given.

My son has grown exponentially in the last few months, certainly physically, standing at almost six foot two, but also in his outlook and maturity to a certain extent.  We see glimpses of a mature young man, sprinkled with plenty of episodes of “d’oh, he’s still a kid” moments.  

Case in point – within a 24 hour period he managed to misplace two items that are critical to most teenagers.  One, a charger for his iPhone and two, his biology binder in which he had all of his notes for the year. We have come to the conclusion that microchipping his possessions might be worth considering. 

“Mom, have you seen my charger?” I found it in the backseat of my car where he had been sitting the night before.

“Oh man, Mom have you seen my biology notebook?! I swear I brought it home on Friday right after school, 150% positive” – as he turned his room, the dining room, the kitchen and the family room, upside down.  Sunday night at 7 PM, the night before his biology test.  “I can’t believe this, they are all my notes, everything from the beginning, this is sooooo bad.  I took it out of my backpack because it didn’t fit, but I was holding it on its own so I know I brought it home! Oh My Gawddd!”

I calmly helped him look over everything he had overturned, asking him to take a look again himself. “Are you absolutely sure you brought it home? I don’t remember you coming straight home after school…”

“Yeah, I did, I’m positive.  I did go to KFC, I went to the washroom and washed my hands…” I could see the gears going in his mind. “Maybe I left it at KFC!”  

I suggested he call them.  I overheard him on the phone, confirming the color of his book and his name.  He calmly got off the phone and gave me a calm smile.

“They have it.  I am so lucky.  I am so skilled, tracing my steps backwards. Can we go get it now?”  

“Yes I will drive you and you are lucky  – that I am driving you.  If I weren’t so relieved that you found it I would smack you”. He flashed me his smile again. 

So I drove him to KFC.  I watched as he came out of the restaurant, held up his binder and took a selfie at KFC. For snapchat of course.

“It totally wasn’t luck mom, it was skill.  I back tracked and figured it out CSI style. Ha!”

******

I took him to his third dental appointment within a week today, to get fitted for a bite guard now that his TMJ has become almost debilitating.  Poor boy’s jaw is almost always bruised.  Turns out his jaw is also growing unevenly, and his wisdom teeth are coming in earlier than expected.  Life is stressful for him with a tough course load, especially math continuing to be the bane of his existence. Don’t get me started on the state of the math education here these days.

After getting his molds done, he asked if we could check out the new H &M that just opened down the hall from the dental office.  He found a pair of pants and shirt that he assures me he will wear, because as noted, he continues to grow.  He told me he loves shopping with me, not just because I’m paying, but because I’m a good shopper and he likes my opinion.  As much or more than his friends!  We talked about him getting a part time job, his plans to get experience, working on a resume – more adult topics.

“Mom, when I’m rich and working I will take you shopping – I promise.” Sounds like a similar promise he made when he was around five year old.  I could almost imagine his voice at five saying those same words.  It touched my heart.

******

My husband and I sometimes look at pictures of our boy when he was little, and say that we miss those days.  But in the short time that I’ve been at home again, I’ve come to realize that this teenage stage is also to be treasured.  And how lucky am I right now to be able to enjoy all this in realtime.